The Chibi Problem
by Daluci
Summary: A strange man appears and turns Harper, Rommie, Tyr, and Trance into chibis (little kids). What are Dylan and Beka to do? ((Co-written by Darling Baby Girl))
1. It Starts

The Chibi Problem  
  
((A/n-This story was co-written by Darling Baby Girl, I admit, I'm behind the insane plot line, but she is at least a little at fault. Since I'm no good at Gold Trance, we're gonna pretend that Trance is still purple for this... Oh! Translation for kiddy talk is in [. . .] and thoughts are -. . .-))  
  
Beka and Dylan were off on the Maru, gathering necessary materials and taking a break from the current monotonous events. Harper, Trance, and, after two hours of complaints, Tyr were currently engaged in a friendly game of Crazy 8's on the bridge while Rommie stood at the door, watching. Suddenly the quiet atmosphere was interrupted by blaring klaxons.  
  
"Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!" Andromeda repeated. Harper quickly went into action, grabbing his gauss gun from a nearby table; Trance grabbed hers from under the table, while Tyr simply grabbed his from his side holster. Rommie lead the way, Harper behind her, and Trance and Tyr side-by-side. "Why the heck aren't you attacking them again, Rommie?" Harper asked, feeling the start of a headache.  
  
"Simple. We are not sure if it is a threat at the moment. I am standing by for more information." Rommie replied.  
  
Trance gave a small grin and Tyr shook his head. "Then let's get more information for the Divine's sake!" Tyr shouted over the klaxons, taking the lead.  
  
Suddenly a short man with a ridiculously enormous gun turned the corner and nearly ran Tyr over. -Oooh, it's pink. . .- Was Trance's last thought before all four of them were engulfed in a bright yellow beam.  
  
- ~ -  
  
. . . An Hour Later . . .  
  
Beka and Dylan return on the Maru, each looking forward to a nice quiet day back on the Andromeda. "Eureka Maru requesting permission to board." Dylan said, nearly yawning.  
  
They waited nearly two minutes for a response before getting rather annoyed. Soon they opened a communication link and saw three small children. One resembling Trance and the other two Rommie and Tyr. They looked no older than three and were throwing cards around. Beka's head began to ache.  
  
"I don't want to know what happened but I must ask." She sighed and raised her voice a bit. She wondered for a second which child would be most interested in pressing a red button giving them the ability to board then decided Trance. "Trance?" She addressed the little purple girl sucking the tip of her tail. Trance looked up alarmed at her name.  
  
"Y-yes?"  
  
"Can you press the red button for me?" Trance looked around and then stood toddling over to a control panel and accidentally pressing a green button.  
  
"Uhhh, Ms. Wady? Wha' 'appens if I pushed da w'ong buddon?" [Uhhh, Ms. Lady? What happens if I pressed the wrong button?] Trance asked, looking a little embarrassed.  
  
"Which one did you press?" Beka asked, trying very hard not to sound annoyed.  
  
"Da gween one." [The green one.] Trance replied energetically.  
  
Rommie and Tyr suddenly let out small giggles and Trance spun around to look at them. "What? What 'appened?" [What? What happened?]  
  
There was a vid showing on the other view-screen. It was a recording of Beka in a short pink dress and Dylan in a poka-dotted shirt and matching tie. "What the. . .? I'm going to kill him!" Beka yelled. Dylan, who hadn't been paying any particular attention to the situation, suddenly noticed it and turned a bright shade of red.  
  
"Mr. Harper. . . I do believe you are dead. . . Very dead. . ." Dylan muttered, trying to stop the blush. All three children were rolling on the floor in laughter, a very funny scene if you consider that two of them were Rommie and Tyr.  
  
Suddenly a minimized Harper-head appeared from an overhead air duct. "Wha's so funny?" [What's so funny?] He asked, looking around and being very careful not to fall out of the duct.  
  
Beka was the first to notice him. "Harper! Get your little butt down here now and hit the stupid red button! And turn off that. . . that. . . annoying thing!" She yelled.  
  
Harper's eyes widened and he looked downright terrified but he quickly hopped out of the duct, hit three buttons in quick sequence on the board, and ran out of the room.  
  
"Well that went well." Dylan said once his blush finally calmed down. Beka shook her head, guided them into the cargo bay, and prayed to the Divine that she was dreaming.  
  
- ~ - 


	2. Dun Dun Duuun

((A/n - We've (Me an' Darling Baby Girl) decided to update after three reviews. . . Unfortunately we only have two right now. . . Shhh, don't tell her I updated ^_^))  
  
Beka quickly maneuvered the Maru into landing position and both her and Dylan sprinted off it and out of the door. Or tried to. The door didn't open as they came upon it so both Dylan and Beka ran into the door and ended up flat on the ground.  
  
"Andromeda? Open the door, now!" Dylan yelled, rubbing his nose.  
  
"Who dere?" [Who's there?] A young voice asked from a nearby speaker.  
  
"Andromeda?" Dylan repeated, this time sounding more baffled than annoyed.  
  
"Stop sayin' my name! What'cha want? I's bein' busy!" [Stop saying my name! What do you want? I'm busy!] The voice sounded indignant.  
  
Dylan cursed under his breath and keyed the manual opening code on the keypad, hoping that this day wouldn't get any worse.  
  
- ~ -  
  
When Beka and Dylan finally arrived onto the bridge it looked like the scene of a war. Chibi-Trance was sleeping in the 'Stream chair, Chibi-Tyr was calmly playing with two knives in a corner, and Chibi-Rommie was staring at a corner of the vid-screen; Chibi-Harper was nowhere in sight.  
  
Beka cursed under her breath, ran over to the corner, and took the two knives from Tyr. Tyr looked up at her with wide, innocent eyes and began to sniff. Two seconds later he was silently crying while still staring at her with big, watery eyes. Beka, after a moment's hesitation, shook her head and her finger at him. "No sharp objects, mister."  
  
Meanwhile, Dylan was staring from Rommie, to Tyr, to Trance, and back to Rommie. A light turned on in his head and he spun to face the door of the bridge. "Andromeda, where's Harper?" He asked, forgetting that she was. . . not herself at the moment.  
  
"Hawpew? He fixing my swipsteam dwive! He vewy helpfuls." [Harper? He's fixing my slipstream drive! He's very helpful.] The childish voice said with a slight giggle.  
  
Dylan ran out of the bridge, thanking his lucky stars that the door actually opened this time, and headed toward Engineering.  
  
- ~ -  
  
The first ting Dylan noticed when he reached Engineering was that it was the only area of the ship that wasn't any more trashed than usual.  
  
Unfortunately, it was like that every other day of the week.  
  
The second thing he noticed was the abnormal banging coming from the slipstream drive. "Mr. Harper?" Dylan called out, taking no caution to hide the annoyance in his tone.  
  
A muffled yelp was heard from the drive and the banging immediately stopped.  
  
"Harper!" Dylan all but yelled, glaring at the drive. A small, ruffled, and terrified Harper scrambled out from inside the drive and stood in front of Dylan at attention.  
  
"Yes siw." [Yes sir.] Harper said softly, staring at the air two feet above Dylan's head.  
  
Dylan's eyes widened slightly. "Harper?" He asked, the anger gone from his tone.  
  
"I-I's din't means to, I's din't." [I didn't mean to, I didn't.] Harper said in a small voice, sounding even more afraid.  
  
"You didn't mean to do what?" Dylan asked, millions of problems running through his head: More 'stream troubles, the original problem with the drive, the vid incident, and the. . . problem consisting of four mini- crew members.  
  
Harper blinked, looking no less terrified. "I's dunno, you's maaad, I musta done sometin' w'ong." [I don't know, you're maaad, I must have done something wrong.]  
  
Dylan was saved from finding a reply to that statement as Rommie's childish voice interrupted. "Hawpew fixeded it! Yay!" [Harper fixed it! Yay!] Suddenly an almost imperceptible hum started and the ship lurched upwards. Then downwards. Then upwards again. "Whee!" Rommie giggled from the loudspeakers.  
  
"Andromeda? What in the world do you think you're doing?" Dylan yelled, trying very hard not to fall on Harper, or just plain fall.  
  
"'Dis is funfun! Wha's da matta' wit' you? Spoilspowt!" [This is fun! What's the matter with you? Spoilsport!]  
  
Harper, despite himself, was grinning slightly, and nearly burst out laughing. The ship did another quick bounce up and down and a small click was heard overhead.  
  
"Dylan? What are you doing down there, and can you stop it right now?" Beka asked, sounding exasperated. A tiny wail, from Trance, and a steady list of possible problems and solutions, from Rommie, could be heard in the background. A small sniffle quickly showed that Tyr hadn't quite gotten over Beka taking his knives.  
  
"I'm not doing anything. It's Rommie, she seems to be. . ." Dylan paused, searching for the correct term, "hyper." He sighed. "This is going to be a long day."  
  
- ~ - 


	3. Hiccups?

((A/n-Okay. . . I could sit here and tell you that this is all Darling Baby Girl's fault. . . but it isn't. -_- She gave me the chapter two days ago and I completely forgot to post it. . . Here it is now, please don't kill us for it! *looks nervous and runs away* Oh yah, this is her chapter!))  
  
  
  
Rommie had the hiccups. And she didn't know how to run a check to see where someone was unless he/she was working on her. Great! Every time she hiccupped the ship went up and down and a loud hiccup came over the speakers. Beka cussed under her breathe as she saw the little Android cry and hiccup at the same time. Trance sat in a corner sucking on her tail silently. Beka had no idea where Tyr was. which was probably not a good thing and as for Dylan and Harper. she hadn't known for about an hour. Tyr had disappeared about. 10 minutes ago.  
  
Beka looked at the little android then looked at Trance. She had to know a cure for the hiccups. HAD to.  
  
"Trance?" Beka addressed Trance softly. Trance's tail parted from her mouth and wagged slowly in front of her face.  
  
"Yes." She prodded.  
  
"How do you cure the hiccups?" Beka asked. Trance starred at her blankly.  
  
"You mean the hic-booms?" She asked her eyes full of innocence.  
  
"Yes. Those." Beka sighed in relief.  
  
"Breave fru youw han'" She said simply putting her tail back in her mouth. Beka looked at Rommie.  
  
"Breathe through your hand." Rommie did what she was told and soon the hiccups subsided. Dylan walked in Harper in one hand Tyr in the other, his don't-mess-with-me face on. Uh oh. Beka thought simply. Harper looked. Petrified. Aww, Beka thought, poor Harper. Being carried around by a big mean man. She almost laughed at the thought as she took Harper from Dylan's hands. Soon she saw a stain all down Dylan's shirt. Beka tried really hard not to laugh but a small giggle escaped her lips.  
  
"Would you mind sharing what is so, da-ng, funny about this Beka Valentine?" Beka shook her head for fear that if she opened her mouth she would laugh. Which was why she was getting into trouble now. So what was the point in getting in even more trouble? Dylan nodded with triumph.  
  
"What I thought." He said simply.  
  
Trance, who was now hiding behind Beka, trembled. The man holding Tyr and Seamus didn't look too happy to her. Beka picked her up.  
  
"What's wrong Trance?"  
  
"He looks. mad. I afraid of. mad people." Trance wiggled out of Beka's grasp and walked over to Dylan freeing Harper and Tyr from his grasp then all of them hid behind Beka.  
  
"Well. you hit it off with the kiddies!" Beka teased. Dylan rolled her eyes. Rommie came over to Dylan and tugged on his pants.  
  
"Shippy lady talk to me. She sadda tew ou" she stopped to cough, "Tha babies migh be ungy. I tol her I no a baby dat I a biggirl an she no listen thou." Dylan nodded.  
  
"Okay, well. who's hungry?" Beka said optimistically picking up the chibi- Harper and watching in amazement as the chibi Tyr reached up to be picked up as well. She picked him up anyway and watched as the other two trailed closely behind her wanting nothing to do with Dylan. She almost felt sorry for him. High-guard captains didn't usually have to worry about having their crew turned into kids. But this wasn't the usual high-guard ship. By now, he should be prepared for anything. And he shouldn't be freaking out about Harper and Tyr messing up his, dry-clean-only shirts.  
  
When they got to the mess they had a hard time locating high-chairs. All though all the chibis insisted they didn't need one.  
  
"Where the hell. I KNOW there were some in here." Dylan muttered as he walked through a storage closet.  
  
"We don't use Hell either." Dylan had been looking for about 5 minutes and Beka had been standing aside correcting his language around two year olds and trying not to laugh. About 10 minutes later he found them all.  
  
"There ya go." He said proudly. "At one point I had more than 6 people on my crew and I needed to worry about high chairs." He said in an equally proud tone as he set the highchairs around the table and helped Beka put all the chibis in one.  
  
"Time to eat!" 


End file.
